The Impossible Standard


"Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah." 
Acts 3:19-20

My prayer is that we will once again be WITH Jesus and not just people who knows that there is a Jesus that we should worship.

Been through a lot of binding sins and thoughts not pleasing to the Lord. Hindi naman ako nakapatay ng tao pero nakapatay ako ng sariling faith, hope at pag-ibig sa Diyos at sa mga tao. And that, God also sees and considers as sin. And unconfessed sins brings so much sickness to my body and spirit. Yung hormonal imbalance na ang lala sobra. Uncontrollable emotions, anxiety and what-have-you. It was so dark there inside my own self without the light of Jesus.

But the past days have been amazing with God moving in my life step by step. I've no words to say in prayer but God is filling my lips with the right thing to say. I've so much emotion even the worst ones and God accepted them all wholly. I felt accepted though my feeling says otherwise. I just know deeper in me that there is something going on and I don't want to lose it, I don't want to let go of the faith even when I'm not feeling it. After all, there is no ideal feeling naman sa paglapit sa Lord. 

Can we all just let go of our impossible standards and just come as we are before God?

It will all be worth it.

Looking back, 5 days ago, hindi ko maisip that I would be able to say these things I'm sharing with you, guys, now. Mainit lang ulo ko nun. Galit na galit sa mga tao. Sawang sawa sa sitwasyon na meron ako at sa buhay in general. Can't even see my self better and I'm feeling too sick to function aright.  

But here I am, hindi naman ako nag-buhos ng magic dust or nag-declare ng powerful verses to make everything better. Wala na nga akong memorized na verses eh. (Though we can work it out eventually syempre. hehe) Point is, lumapit lang ako sa Lord, not once. Sumama sa mga tamang tao, and connects to them as often as I can. As often as how often I would get emotional. 

Now, I'm not saying I got it all fixed. Kagabi lang na-trigger na naman ako ng emosyon eh. But I am believing that I'm walking on God's promise of times of refreshment. And I don't want to lose it!

Huling hirit sa tag-init. But never huling hirit sa Lord. 🙂

I hope you make it to the end of this season of your life. 

Then, unto the next. Having God send you Jesus--YOUR appointed Messiah. :)



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