A Fine Artist.

Don't act as if everything's okay. Something like that. Our Anatomy class professor told us yesterday. 

If something's wrong, erase it. Then... draw it again. Something like that. Our professor added.

He just wanted things in order. 

Drawings properly drawn. 

College students not acting dumb. 

His students really learning. 

Tuition fee's a graduation assurance-worth. 

And things that really matter.

Truly, it wouldn't hurt a wee of time having to erase some parts and draw again, since it's not going to be the whole image that you're gonna erase. Just some part of it.

Just like what happens to us every single day. A 24-hours of drawing through rough edges or smooth surfaces, leaving dents on the pad. Still visible yet can be corrected. After all, if you get to finish it by having it done well ( in all honesty and having the conviction that you really did well ) you won't be disappointed anyway. 

It won't hurt to just erase some part. 

A minute of being shamed with a wrong decision is nothing more than a day of regret or memories you'd want to contract amnesia just to get through with it.

I must admit, I have had worthless decisions. Whimsy thoughts. Fanciful ideas. And they all got back on me. Let me put it this way, it's a counterpart of emotional. Illogical. Bummer questions. Stupid answers. Careless Actions. 

But. It doesn't end there. I don't end up a loser. Not because at least I don't let myself to be like one. Nor my day to end up like that.

Yesterday, on the same schedule of our Anatomy class whence my brain should be releasing out its "fumes" on the plate that I'm doing rather than deliberately thinking about some things. You know, Anatomy class ain't a place for some family issues whatsoever. My palms are sweating, bowed down... was praying to God for "some signs" 'cause I really can't decide as to how I should live my life for the next moments.

I knew God answered. To that very moment I know He did. When did He not? 

So, going back... The not supposed to be usual partaking of myself to the decision-making which determines my future, I did not obey. 

And so it equaled to the pertinency of both unhappiness and hurt. Torture-some decision it was. I've asked myself, "Gusto mo'ng masaktan o malungkot?"

It's like asking someone to slap you in the face. Though you know that you'll not like it. Though you know that it's gonna hurt you. 

But I had to face it, 'cause it was me who opened the door for it. I was thinking what if it might work out fine, or somehow it'd be okay by chance. Making God willing to my will. Right. God-willing, eh?

It was painful, for a while. Wrong stroke of the pencil. Dent was pretty obvious but with proper shading, proper layout, proper stroke.. Properly everything's going to work out well. The dent made will now be a guide to draw the lines in their proper places. 

Something was wrong. So, I erased it. Then, I have lived again. Properly. A life-worthy day it has been. 

It pays to talk with God you know. Lower down the volume of your conscience and seek His presence. 

-Ping